Fert results, Day One.

So got the call nice and early this morning, 9 out of the 11 have fertilized! I am assured that is a very good number so I am pretty darn happy with that. I have been awake since 5am watching the clock and waiting for the call. This is all such a new experience for me I never know how I am meant to feel.. excited? terrified? nervous? Shit. I feel all of those.

So onto the fun and games... pessaries.

Egg Collection

So today was the day and of the 11 follicles present we managed to get 11 eggs so we're pretty stoked with that. I (apparently) was climbing the walls in pain during the procedure, so the fact I don't remember it is probably a good thing. In saying that though, I do kind of wish I was able to remember it. The only thing I remember is the embryologist saying there's 2 eggs. As that was pretty much the only thing I remember I spent the whole time in recovery getting upset at the Mr. that we had only managed 2 eggs, which he thought was very funny every time he reminded me that we actually got 11 and I got all happy again. Man those were some good drugs.

Bad news is I am in pain and bleeding, the FS wants me to keep an eye on the bleeding overnight, stay on bed rest, and see how I am in the morning. Thank god I thought ahead and took tomorrow off work cos there is no way I'll be doing much feeling like this.

So I doubt I will be sleeping much tonight, all I can think about is the upcoming call in the morning...

Lets make this interesting...

Going to have to update the last few days in this post because I have been so useless!

On Friday we went down for our 1st scan to see how many follies we had stashed in them there ovaries, we were discussing how many there would be and decided to place a little bet. I was being naturally cautious, guessing 7 to 11 follies while the Mr. was shooting for the moon and guessed 14-18 follies. Long story short there was 10 or 11 there. So win for me! As my prize I got the scrummiest dinner of my choice cooked for me (he's a brilliant cook, must have something to do with growing up in France) and bragging rights, which are worth so much more.

We had Saturday off from all that garb, but as my E2 levels hadn't moved much they decided to up my dose of gonal f to 300. Went back down today (Sunday) and my E2 levels have kicked back in after 2 higher doses of gonal f and the follies are looking great. Had my last shot of buserelin this evening and the trigger injection at 11.15pm tonight for EC at 11.15 Tuesday morning. EEK!!

I have to say I am not going to miss all these needles, I am covered in bruises and the jabs are getting more and more painful everyday. To make matters worse when I went to have my blood taken today they mangled me and I am still in pain from it all. I am feeling mighty uncomfortable as well, sore lower abdomen, bloated and just generally blah.

I would also like to point out that we are driving nearly 3 hours to get to the clinic for an 8 minute appointment, something that the Mr. is handling rather well I must say. He is not the most patient of people and it's a long way to go for a few minutes. But it's all worth it in the end, here's hoping anyway.

So far it has all slotted in with work too, working shift work makes it extremely hard to have any kind of organization in your life and the fact I am ridiculously unorganized already doesn't help matters one bit. But this weekend I had friday to tuesday as rostered days off which has been perfect and means I will only have to take Wed off to recover before I go back to my very physically demanding job. Then its just a matter of taking time off from transfer, which is hopefully going to be on the Sunday if we can get to day 5 and having some time off after that for the 2ww. I am super lucky to have a very understanding boss and I know it, she is going to get one hell of a gift basket when all this is over!!

After reading a lot of sites, blogs, books, and hearing from other IVFers I decided to deal with everything one day at a time, on blood test days I focussed only on that, same with scans. Tonight I am focusing on not missing my trigger time (how awful would that be!?!) and then tomorrow I will focus on nothing much. Tuesday will be dealt with when Tuesday comes. The problem with this tact is that as I am on a short cycle so everything has come around very very quickly... like super crazy scary quickly. Egg collection was just a figment of my imagination, something that seems to happen to everyone else doing IVF and my turn was never going to come, and now I am 36hours away from it.. WTF?

So my head is all over the place tonight and I think tomorrow is going to be even worse, there goes my day by day strategy. Oh well.. let the freak out begin.

Update

So, after a low first E2 level two days later they are nicely on the rise, just needed a little time to get a kick start I guess. Going in for a scan tomorrow morning to see how many follies we have growing and will have another blood test tomorrow as well.

Things are looking good so far then, but I am still trying to remain realistic.. actually lets be honest, I am trying to tell myself in my head that it isn't going to work and in my heart hope that I will be pleasantly surprised. I'm a bit backwards like that. While I totally buy into the positive thinking thing, I am also a big fan of self preservation, so a little bit of both and I'm away.

I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable today, which I am also hoping is a good sign.. maybe it means that I am growing gazillions of follicles. So not looking forward to going to work tonight, the joys of doing an extremely physical job with swollen ovaries.

Yay me!

Avert your eyes...

Ok, a bit of pre warning, this post is going to be kinda soft. People who know me know that I am not soft, not big on emotions and I am not a hugger. But I think these drugs are messing with me so here goes.

This post is all about the Mr. himself.

In the lead up to IVF we were building a house and the Mr. got a big promotion and so he has been 100% focussed on all that. He somehow managed to put IVF on the back burner, as there really was nothing to do until we started, and concentrate on the other things going on. Of course I was totally unable to do this and was all over the place. Now my initial concern was that this was going to carry on and IVF become another task on the list. However, he has been amazing. He has been speaking to the FS nurse and asking all kinds of questions that I would have completely forgotten or not even thought about. He's great with my medications and checks on how I am feeling while I am at work. He has been totally awesome. I have been feeling really rough with these terrible headaches and lately I am so tired that the thought of getting out bed makes me want to cry. He hasn't complained once, he has been so great with me being grumpy and tired and has listened to all of my whinging.

So here's to the Mr. who I love and who has been great so far in this IVF cycle. Thanks babe.

Waiting.

I hate waiting. I mean proper HATE, I now know the true meaning of the word. Had blood test this morning, went to the lab at 0730 when they were opening. There were 20 other people waiting in line to get bloods taken. WTF?!? Anyway, I am now waiting for the phone call from my FS nurse to tell me if and how I am responding to the gonal f. Today I find out if I am a non responder, an over responder or what and man am I nervous!

I have to go back to work this afternoon, I am really hoping she calls before then so if the news isn't great I have some time to get myself together before I start work.

So I have a couple of hours to try and fill. I am going to use mindless television and fridge browsing.

Not superwoman after all

So, it turns out, much to my horror that I cannot in fact, do everything.

Now I know this may not shock all you seasoned professionals the way it has shocked me, but you simply can't have a normal life during a cycle of IVF. Don't get me wrong, I never expected to be able to have a totally normal life I mean egg collection and transfer and all that stuff, result days and the big 2ww. However I did expect that the initial stage of injections and things would be a relatively normal existence, just with needles a few times a day. WRONG! Instead I have headaches, lethargy and just general blahness... yes I know it's not a real word but it's the right word damn it.

Now I find myself leaving concerts and gatherings because the bass makes my head want to explode (nana much?!?) and I feel like general arse. The Mr. let his hair down yesterday as we went to our annual sandbank party, which on a side note is a truly epic experience, and he had a right merry time. I tried to hold out as long as I possibly could before pulling the plug so to speak but by 11pm I was dead on my feet with a headache to rival all headaches and off home we went. Today I am as useless as all hell and just want to sleep sleep sleep. But of course I can't.

I have injected myself in the car on the way to a concert, and at the beach (don't worry, no one could see me) I have tried to live as normally as possible up to this point, but as I realise that this simply isn't working and my headaches get worse and my stomach starts to feel uncomfortable I have decided that a very quiet existence for the next wee while sounds like the way to go. I am going to have to inject at work every night for the next week, which in a busy emergency department already has me stressing about missing times etc, and thats about as exciting as I want it for now thank you very much.

So, to summarise. I am not superwoman, these drugs are not nice, and a normal life I do not have.