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Monday, May 2, 2011

Everyone but me

Trying not to be bitter recently but I am finding it very hard, surrounded by pregnancy at every turn.. surrounded by babies and doting parents. urghh my stomach is turning just thinking about it.

What brought all this on? For starters my best friend is pregnant, she is my absolute best friend in the world and I am so so so happy for her and her husband but for some reason this is making me more angry and depressed than the hundreds of pregnancy announcements we have heard since starting out TTC journey over 5 years ago.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friend and the fact she is preggers and so stoked about it makes me happy. The fact that she is due the same week we would have been had our embie stuck breaks me heart though, and she is the one person I can usually be 100% honest with, but now I find myself holding back and almost avoiding her sometimes as she is just starting to show and I havn't figured out how to deal with her as a pregnant woman. That sounds awful but I don't know how else to put it.

Woe is me and blah blah blah.. maybe its just this cold weather getting me down but I am finding it hard to stay on top of my game recently.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Lexa,It's absolutely understandable that it would be upsetting being such a close friend-I found it the hardest with my best friend too, I think because being a best friend there is such a big expectation to be there and be happy for them all of the time...and it's a constant reminder. And also understandably more upsetting for you with her due date too.
    A few more months and I hope it will be you celebrating your own pregnancy with your friend....hang in there and I hope you feel better soon...the onset of winter isn't the greatest mood booster though is it! xoxo

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  2. OMG, me too, me too.

    I find myself getting upset when people get married because I am worried that they will fall pregnant straight away and upset me.

    I totally understand, I feel the same.

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