Monday, December 13, 2010

Big week.

This week in the year is always an emotional one, on one hand I am a total christmas fiend and I start getting mighty excited by around the 10th of December. The 13th of December is our wedding anniversary which is fantastic and then the 14th, today, is a more somber anniversary.

Today was meant to be my due date for our wee baby that ended up as an ectopic pregnancy. He or she would have been 3 this year. I spend this day wondering what if? Wondering if there was anything I could have done differently and what our life might have been like if things had turned out right. I know this kind of thinking is not productive, but I can't help it.

To totally top this all off I have been on night shifts so slept through most of my anniversary and then on that evening came down with some kind of bug where I have been throwing up and my ears and throat hurt like hell.

Feeling rather sorry for myself today.


  1. aw, i'm sorry to hear that it's been a miserable day for you. i hate how our minds can't stop the "x would be" and the "what if..." thoughts. it's tough.

    i hope that the new year brings you lots of happy events to make new happier memories.

    p.s. my anniversary is the 15th, tomorrow! i didn't realise how quickly it has come about. congrats to you and your hubby!

  2. Happy wedding anniversary for the 13th :)
    I'm so sorry about the sad anniversary though hun, I can't imagine how hard that must be,I hope that next year you will be filled with joy around this time and hopefully have an extra special wedding anniversary present.
    Hope you feel better soon and can get back into the Christmas vibe again-it's hard to do I know!