This week in the year is always an emotional one, on one hand I am a total christmas fiend and I start getting mighty excited by around the 10th of December. The 13th of December is our wedding anniversary which is fantastic and then the 14th, today, is a more somber anniversary.
Today was meant to be my due date for our wee baby that ended up as an ectopic pregnancy. He or she would have been 3 this year. I spend this day wondering what if? Wondering if there was anything I could have done differently and what our life might have been like if things had turned out right. I know this kind of thinking is not productive, but I can't help it.
To totally top this all off I have been on night shifts so slept through most of my anniversary and then on that evening came down with some kind of bug where I have been throwing up and my ears and throat hurt like hell.
Feeling rather sorry for myself today.