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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Onwards and Upwards

I have just had my 2nd injection for the day, today being day one of Buserelin, the Mr. has done them both for me... the first one this morning he was nervous and obviously wary, but by this evening when it was time for the next one he was all keen and smiling. To be honest I think he may have enjoyed it a little too much.

He has also done his research on how women undergoing IVF treatment get what he calls "the crazy" and so everytime I speak he is busy telling me to calm down and that no one needs to get hurt. At this early stage I can't help but laugh at him, but no doubt that will get real old, real quick.

How do I feel? To be honest I don't know. I feel excited for finally taking the next step forward and then in the same breath I am scolding myself for just that. I feel nervous at what might happen. I hate not knowing things, I am always one step ahead (even though the Mr. thinks he is) so having no control at all, other than my 3 alarms set to make sure I don't forget when its time for the next jab (we both nearly forgot the last one... eek!) is making me feel like a bundle of nerves. Not the good kind.

It truly amazes me as I read other blogs like mine, yes I read them all, just not much of a comment leaver, how many couples and women are going through this as well. We all feel so alone in these struggles, often even isolated from the one person we are going through all this with, and yet there are so much of us doing it. It amazes me at how perpetually optimistic, strong, supportive, and amazing all of these people are who are going through this, some might say roller coaster but I personally like roller coasters and I don't like this so I am going to say torture. Yes I might be slightly emotional because things are happening and I am obviously all mixed up about it but I wanted to make sure that I recognized the others out there who are going through this along with me.

May 2011 be THE year!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Lexa,
    I can understand you feeling excited but then not wanting to at the same time-it IS exciting when you can start actively doing something to fall pregnant though!
    I had to laugh at your DH telling you to calm down every time you spoke, mine was a little like that too, at least they know to expect it I guess.
    Hope the cycle is going smoothly for you so far!